Yes, girl. You can have it all.

Photo by nappy from Pexels

Photo by nappy from Pexels

I'm talking to everyone, not just fellow womankind. You can have it all, but not at the same time. You can have it all, but you must define what "all" means to you to begin with. While having a benchmark to work towards and aspire to can be motivating, I believe that crossing that line and looking at someone else's life, wanting to achieve what they have when you may not even know or understand that formula will hurt more than it'll help. The "comparison" game is a sticky, tricky one with no real payout in the end. I guess what I'm really talking about here is both balance and having a certain frame of mind. We'd all love to be able to balance not only our dreams and goals, but also the realities of our (sometimes hectic) situations, right? To support all that, I think it's necessary to have the right frame of mind.

I've spent the last couple years in a state of perpetual transition (one of the most stressful parts of life), but have managed to find contentment, and even elation in many cases. Below are a couple of points I use to coach myself into living my most full, dynamic, and sensational life. And, yes, I do talk to myself in 2nd person. I'm strange, I know.


Take some time to figure out what you want.

Maybe this is altogether in life or just as a short term goal. Whatever type it is, it's important that you set your own benchmark. Like I said, that ugly comparison game gets us nowhere in the end. In my experience, I've only been left feeling negatively about my choices, accomplishments, even my own goals because of comparing my life to someone else's. When you both know and are convicted about what you want, you can carve out a path or plan to get there. Much less will be a distraction, now.


Determine what you can successfully manage.

You don't want to over-commit and burn out. Oh, how I know this life. I like to believe I multitask very well - and this might be true. But just because you can do everything and more at once, doesn't mean you should. And this is not a revolutionary thought, people. I know I'm not alone in getting caught up in the hustle and taking on more things than I can manage. I guarantee you, I probably have a few parts of my life right now that I'm holding onto with my pinky toes because some delusional part of me thinks I can give them equal priority, like the rest. How can you fill anything with an empty cup?


Prioritize your goals and give each one the space + time it deserves.

Speaking of priorities, juggling only works if you're actually holding each object in one hand at a given time. When juggling projects or different aspects of your lifestyle, be sure to have a good grip on each part so you feel more well-rounded in the end. Maybe you need to dedicate a certain time-frame during each day (or week, or month, or whatever) to complete that task leading to your ultimate goal, or to spend some time with people to feel connected, or to just take a damn breather because your arms get tired from all this juggling! Whatever it is, each portion of your life is crucial to the composition of the whole - shouldn't each portion get its fair share of care?


Think about the tools you need to meet each of your goals.

Being holistically sound doesn't happen on its own. Along with the right framework, we need some tools to make our very own magic happen. Do you have these tools, or do you need to work on obtaining them? If your goal is to be healthier and get in better physical shape, you might need to overhaul your fridge and pantry and stock the type of food you need to meet  your new lifestyle goal. Maybe your goal is to have better posture. In this case, perhaps you need a new pillow, a timer to let you know you've been on the phone or computer for too long, or a YouTube video illustrating some posture-correcting stretches. You get the point with this, and some of these tools may be intangible as well. What tools do you use (or need) to help you move along your desired path?


The concept of "having it all" is so subjective, in my opinion. Whatever we each choose to distinguish as our "all", it is no mystery that it takes a bit of desire, organization, and the right timing to reach our definitions of holistic happiness.

What does "having it all" mean to you?